Wednesday, August 27, 2008

This just can't be your car...

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him.

He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating though the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious. She honked her horn, screamed in frustration, dropped her cellphone and make-up as she missed her chance to get though the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car wiht her hands up.

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

- sent to American Police Beat by a subscriber
I started this blog because of a WG friend named Doc. He introduced me to his blog You Just Keep On Believing That and I finally started participating last week. I won the coveted Giant Peach Award.

The article came from an Italian priest that was organizing a beauty pagent for nuns. The word game was to put in The worst idea ever for a beauty pageant involved _______________ .

I put in high school lunch ladies, and won.

Just to give you a bit of background. I moved 1/2 though my freshman year of high school. My first high school technically I started in 7th Grade. Very small school about 30-35 in my would be graduating class. Kindergarten though 6th Grade are in the elementary school and 7th - 12th are in the high school. We ate lunch with the upperclassman and had the same teachers. At my first school which had a large Italian population actually had yummy food. There were two of my classmates and one girl a year younger than me whose mothers were the "lunch ladies." Remember here the food was good and we knew the cooks.

I moved to the middle of nowhere. You could not get a clear radio station unless it was country. This is 1993 and country is starting to be popular, but isn't quite there yet. My school took in surrounding towns creating a whopping 71 in my graduating class. This was the first time I experience "mystery" meat. One time a guy at the next table found a cockroach in his chicken sandwich. Over 1/2 the school was absent the next day, and of course it "wasn't because of the chicken."

We also had scary looking lunch ladies and you never knew where they came from. Did they live at the school? They even had to fix our prom meal for us - just imagine how fun that was.