Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Why Alone is Enough

Is being single a choice? Are singletons too picky? I don't think it is a choice or being too picky. Does anyone ever plan never finding someone to share their life with and just being alone?

I just read this article on Amy Cohen and near the end it talks about a biking trip she took in the Colorado Rockies. There were a couple of married women that told her she was so brave for doing this on her own. She didn't view herself as being brave. I understand because when you are single sometimes you cannot find someone that is willing or able to share those activities with you. If you want to them then you go out on your own. I am now planning on reading the rest the book sometime.

I don't think being single is necessairly a choice because it is not one person making that decision. My longest relationship of 2 and 1/2 years had ended and less than a year later he was married. He had only met her a few months before we broke up. For a long time I thought he was the guy I was going to marry.

As for being picky my list of someone that I would want to date includes: average attractiveness, at least as intelligent as me, has a sense of humor, has a sense of life and adventure, has personality, and can hold down a job. And he has to find me attractive and enjoys being around me. While I think my list is pretty simple I think it may be hard to fulfill.

The overall idea I got from this article is how I try to live my life. Do the things I enjoy doing - even if they are alone.

Monday, September 29, 2008

But Not For Me

They're writing songs of love - but not for me
A lucky star's above - but not for me
With love to lead the way
I've found more clouds of gray
Than any Russian play - could guarantee
I was a fool to fall - and get that way
Hi ho alas and also lackaday
Although I can't dismiss
The memory of his kiss
I guess he's not for me
I was a fool to fall - and get that way
Hi ho alas and also lackaday
Although I can't dismiss
The memory of his kiss
I guess he's not for me
-George Gershwin

I just had my heart broken this week. I think for the first time in my life I allowed myself to fall in love. I've been in relationships before, but not in love. I did love the guys from my past but I was not in love with them.

Now I'm back to believing this should be my theme song. I do believe in love. I just don't think I will ever have a successful relationship.

We met on my favorite holiday, the Fourth of July. Buck is recentally divorced, but convinced me to take the chance on this Long Distance Relationship. He said that luck favors the bold instead of just waiting to see what happens. Grad school just become too much - something had to go. That something is me.

The kicker is Buck says that I didn't do anything wrong. He still wants to be with me but doesn't have time for him much less us. I understand, and willing to do what ever it takes to make it work. He doesn't want to be unfair to me. However, I'm the one that is tearing up or crying all the time for the last week. I've never been this emotional before and I hate it.

Friday, September 5, 2008

The Other Side of the Story

I just finished reading The Other Side of the Story by Marion Keyes. I love her writing. This one I didn't get as absorbed in as I usually have with her books. I was able to put this one down to read Angels and This Charming Man also by her. As I near completion I found it hard to put it down.
This one is about the publishing industry - one agent and two authors. Gemma's father leaves her mother after 35 years of marriage. The mother needs Gemma because her life revolved around her husband. She makes up stories about her dad's new life and sends them to a friend that forwards them to Jojo and agent.
Jojo is having an affair with her boss. She is an agent to Lily and Gemma. She was a police officer in NYC, but ended up in the publishing world in London. She is the best agent, and there is a retiring partner.
Lily is living with Anton and they have a daughter Ema. Anton is a dreamer with high ambitions. Lily and Gemma used to be friends, but each needs to learn to follow their hearts and learn to forgive.

All I Ask of You


1) My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.

2) Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3) Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4) Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.

5) Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

6) Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7) Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8) Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.

9) Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.

10) On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

I did not write this, but wanted to share it with all willing to read.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Lessons Learned

The lessons really aren't learned for very long. How long the lessons actually stay in one's mind depends on how traumatic the disaster is.

- B. Wayne Blanchard, Emergency Management Institute

I'm getting ready to move my office at work later this month and I've been buzy sorting through stuff. I have a stack of magazines that I don't want to move so I'm spending the time to flip though them.

I've been doing my job for a little over 6 years now, and have only had to respond to disasters in the past year and a half. Nothing major had occured in the previous years.
I worry that if we go though another four+ years of no major disasters that we are going to lose what we learned over the past year and a half.

I also see where this applies to every day life. How many times do we as humans repeat our mistakes. How bad does it have to be before we honestly mean, "I'll never do that again." Can we really learn from others mistakes? How bad does their mistake have to be before we really do learn from it?

I was playing a video game this past weekend and it was pointed out to me that I kept making the same mistakes over and over again. I didn't realize this, but someone from the outside watching noticed. Maybe we just need to have those people in our life point out when we keep repeating our mistakes.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The Joys of LDRs

I have just finished reading The Long-Distance Relationship Survival Guide: Secrets and Strategies form Successful Couples Who Have Gone the Distance by Chris Bell and Kate Brauer-Bell.

I actually enjoyed reading this book on the plane ride back from seeing my boyfriend. It did give me some good ideas and tips. It talked about having virtual dates, creating schedules, and things like that. It was a very easy read and looks at successful and non-successful LDRs.